Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Two Mothers

My daughter has two mothers. Her birth mother somewhere in China and her new mother, my wife.

To the mother in China - I know you once loved this little girl we now hold and love. I know this because she was with you for 5 years or more before you parted ways. I have to wonder if you knew that Grandmother was taking your daughter away to leave her alone in a park and told to "wait here". I wonder what Grandmother told you on her return. Was it, "the deed is done" or "daughter pulled free and ran off" or some other story?

Regardless, I know it must have broken your heart to let her go for mother's love runs deep.

Now your daughter has a new home, far away in America. You are not forgotten for she still speaks of you from time to time. Some day she hopes to return to China for a visit.

Know that your daughter will be loved and nurtured as if she were our own biological daughter. We will remind her of her heritage and encourage her to remember her China roots.

We trust that your daughter / our daughter will always make you proud as she makes her way through life. We hope that somehow you will know this, if only deep down in your heart.

Lastly, we thank you for the privilege through your great sacrifice of raising your daughter as our own.

To the mother in America - Dearest, I have seen a wife transform into a mother before my very eyes and it makes me humble to be called husband and baba. I've seen love blossom from the very start of the process of adoption, change as the time to receive our daughter arrived. I well remember you turning to me when we first sat as a family and saying - 'she's so beautiful' with tears of joy in your eyes.

True that there are trying times, tough times as our daughter pushes against boundaries but through it all I see your love growing deeper and stronger. I admire your vast qualities of talent, vast quantities of energy as you parent this child. I know that our daughter loves you as well and that that love too will grow deeper and stronger as the years pass.

Thank you for the privilege of being your husband these 20 years and partner in this venture of love.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Tim,

    What a nice post, it really brought tears to my eyes. Although my son wasn't given up at 5 - I still think of his mother and the anquish she most have faced at given up her son 2 months after birth. What a special post, especially coming from the dad.
    Take care,
    Heidi (Foshan NanHai)